Come on baby (re)light my fire…

We’ve been there, the spark sometimes fizzles out. It’s impossible to explain why, but kids, work, stress, stagnancy, it all plays a part. But the important this is to admit and recognise that things have begun to fizzle. Which is totally fine, by the way. As a couple who has been through the highs and the lows, we really do sympathise with you. Which is why we recommend opening up to each other, having fun, and exploring. Introduce toys, new sex positions, and if it’s a little awkward laugh about it and keep going!

Here are some tips from Isiah McKimmie to help you introduce sex toys to your relationship.

communication is key

Talk to your partner pre-sexy time about what you want.

Offer lots of appreciation and reassurance about your current sex life. Make it clear that you love the sex life and intimacy you share together now. Let your partner know that this is not about them or your sex life being inadequate. Adding sex toys are really about making things even better, and exploring something new together.

Your timing for this conversation is important. Make sure you have sufficient time and privacy – and if they’re not in the mood to talk about it, allow them the option of talking at another time.

Share your reasons for wanting to introduce toys in a clear and positive way. You can try something like:

“I’ve been thinking that it might be exciting to experiment with a vibrator. I’m wondering if this is something you would be open to?”


explore together & go slow

You can also try something like, “I heard about a new website selling sex toys the other day. I thought that trying something like that might be really fun for us. Would you be interested in that too?”

Openly listen to your partner’s feelings and opinions about it too.

If you’re excited too, together, look at sex toys you might like to experiment with. Jointly shopping for the right toy to use can be a beautiful way to deepen your intimacy and connection.

Crack open a bottle of wine and open up our site, while discussing the toys that you like the look of and those you might be unsure about. Start with a toy that you both feel comfortable with and that can be easily incorporated into your current love making.


our best toys for couples

A toy that is easily used by the two of you together like the We-Vibe or a clitoral vibrator can be a good introduction. It can be added into your love-making at leisure and gives pleasure to both of you.

Mojoco Tip: Not sure if you’re ready for a toy in bed? Try massage oil in bed to start, the aphrodisiac scents will set the mood. Plus, who doesn’t love a good rub down?

Remember that toys will be more enjoyable and effective when you have a great relationship outside of the bedroom too. Keep focusing on making an effort and building intimacy in all areas of your relationship so it really thrives.

Isiah McKimmie