How To Introduce Sex Toys To Your Relationship – Isiah McKimmie

Introducing sex toys to your relationship can be a beautiful way to increase intimacy, passion and connection.


Although, it can also be a little daunting and intimidating the first time.


Whilst research has shown both men and women mostly have very favourable attitudes to sex toys, it’s common to feel nervous about suggesting their use to a partner.


  • You may worry that your partner will feel pressured and shut down.
  • You may worry they will feel intimidated or that they’re being replaced by a toy.
  • Or you may just feel a little apprehensive or embarrassed.


I once had a client tell me that he’d spent hundreds of dollars on buying sex toys for his partner, but hadn’t actually spoken to her about it. The toys ended up sitting in a drawer for two years because neither of them knew how to introduce them to the relationship.


When you have good quality toys such as brands Mojoco stock, sitting in a drawer because you’re not sure how to use them together, it might be time to reach out and get some advice.


Here are some tips to help you introduce sex toys to your relationship.


1. Communication is KEY 


Talk to your partner pre-sexy time about what you want.


Offer lots of appreciation and reassurance about your current sex life. Make it clear that you love the sex life and intimacy you share together now. Let your partner know that this is not about them or your sex life being inadequate. Adding sex toys are really about making things even better, and exploring something new together.


Your timing for this conversation is important. Make sure you have sufficient time and privacy – and if they’re not in the mood to talk about it, allow them the option of talking at another time.


Share your reasons for wanting to introduce toys in a clear and positive way. You can try something like:


“I’ve been thinking that it might be exciting to experiment with a vibrator. I’m wondering if this is something you would be open to?”


“I heard about a new website selling sex toys the other day. I thought that trying something like that might be really fun for us. Would you be interested in that too?”


Openly listen to your partner’s feelings and opinions about it too.


2. Explore together 


Together, look at sex toys you might like to experiment with. Jointly shopping for the right toy to use can be a beautiful way to deepen your intimacy and connection.


Invite your partner to look over the Mojoco’s website with you, while discussing the toys that you like the look of and those you might be unsure about.


3. Start slowly and use it together


Start with a toy that you both feel comfortable with and that can be easily incorporated into your current love making.


A toy that is easily used by the two of you together like the We-Vibe or a clitoral vibrator can be a good introduction. It can be added into your love-making at leisure and gives pleasure to both of you.


Remember that toys will be more enjoyable and effective when you have a great relationship outside of the bedroom too. Keep focusing on making an effort and building intimacy in all areas of your relationship so it really thrives.



About Isiah Mresized-bio-imagecKimmie

Isiah is a Relationship Therapist, Sexologist and Tantra Teacher passionate about helping women and couples embrace wholehearted sexuality and ignite deeper intimacy in their lives. Isiah offer Sex and Relationship Coaching in Sydney and via Skype. Visit her website to find out more and download her free ebook for couples.

Isiah McKimmie Website