Mojoco Education

4 ways to increase the intensity of your orgasm - Isiah McKimmie

In the words of Isiah McKimmie - Sexologist

I have to be honest and say that sex was never really bad for me.

I’m lucky that I orgasm relatively easily - and I think my penchant for older men meant I chose lovers who had a pretty good idea of what they were doing.

That being said, I always felt like there might  be more to explore

My orgasms were good, but I wanted to know if they could be great. Put it this way - I hadn’t had any of Meg Ryan’s ‘When Harry Met Sally’ moments of off-the-charts pleasure.

So when I first ‘discovered’ Tantra, it was like finding the key to Pandora’s box.

There really was more and ‘great’ orgasms really did exist!

Through Tantra, I learnt about whole body orgasms, orgasms that last for 15 minutes and that Tantrikas (people who practice Tantra) can have orgasms without even touching each other.

Always the diligent student, I threw myself into exploring this new world.

Although I don’t always have - or want - whole body orgasms, or sex for hours on end, Tantra provides some pretty impressive tools for increasing intensity and enhancing the enjoyment of sex.

So, without further ado - here are 4 ways to intensify your orgasm tonight.

1. Increase the time you spend in foreplay

The most common reason women fail or struggle to reach orgasm is that we don’t spend enough time in foreplay.

Women’s bodies go through complex changes in order to prepare for sex and these changes take time. Women require at least 15 minutes of foreplay for their bodies to be fully ready for penetration sex.

Before we have sex, the complex networks of erectile tissue in our vulvas need to fill with blood and become engorged. As this happens, our sensitivity, and therefore our ability to feel pleasure, increases.

Spending adequate time in foreplay will not only increase the likelihood of you having an orgasm, it will increase the intensity of that orgasm. This is true for both men and women.

2. Try Edging

If you haven’t heard of edging yet, it’s the ancient secret of Tantric Sex, that’s taking the internet by storm.

Essentially, in edging, you move towards orgasm, but as you get close, rather than going over the edge, you back off, before building up again and repeating the cycle.

By prolonging our pleasure, we also increase the intensity of the orgasm when we do orgasm.

Tantra practice teaches robust, in-depth techniques for this, however, you can start by backing off and taking some deep breaths as you come close to orgasm. 

Try approaching orgasm 3-4 times before allowing yourself to go fully over the edge.

As you back off and build up sexual energy builds, leading to a more intense, powerful orgasm when it does happen.

3. Breathe Deeply

The depth of our breath is directly related to our ability to feel. When the breath is shallow, and the body is tense and tight, we don’t feel as much as when we are relaxed and breathing deeply.

Deep breathing also calms our minds and slows our thoughts. Many women find it difficult to ‘switch off’ and be in the moment during sex. They often find themselves listing all the things they still have to do in their heads. Sound familiar?

Try engaging in deep breathing as you begin sex. This should help to bring you into your body and into the moment - so you can focus on pleasure and enjoyment.

In addition, as we approach orgasm, the breath often becomes shallow and we can even hold our breath completely. Instead, try to focus on taking deep breaths helping to relax the body. In turn, increasing the intensity in your orgasm.

4. Sound

Sound is energy. And sex is all about energy.

Often, we learn to have sex quietly (out of embarrassment or simple consideration for our neighbours) but when we’re holding back sound, we’re also holding back the flow of energy - and therefore pleasure.

Did you know that sound is a key factor in male multiple orgasm, taught through Tantra?

I’m not suggesting being fake or inauthentic with your moans and groans. I’m talking about letting out the sounds that are pure and authentic for you.

Next time you’re being pleasured by your partner, show your appreciation through your sounds of enjoyment and encouragement. Start as small or as quiet as you need and gradually explore what your authentic sounds are. Practice making these sounds to build your confidence and to allow yourself to embrace them.

We’re biologically wired to be turned on by the sounds of sex, so hearing moans of pleasure can heighten the turn on of both you and your partner.

Isiah McKimmie is a Couples Therapist, Sex Therapist, Sexologist + Coach who has been helping women and couples discover deeper intimacy and desire for over a decade.  Compassionate, understanding and absolutely non-judgemental, she’s built her reputation on getting results and helping her clients live happier lives.

5 sexy moves to add spice to your sex life tonight - Isiah McKimmie

5 sexy moves to add spice to your sex life tonight.....

There’s a common goal of couples I see in therapy - particularly women. They want more sex, but they also want the sex they’re having to be more playful, enjoyable and exciting.

Let’s be honest - over time, our sex lives can become a little… routine. We’re often tired and feel short on time when we get into bed. Children, responsibilities and a social life mean that spontaneous encounters become less frequent.

As familiarity develops with a partner, we can become shy about trying new things - or just forget to keep changing things up and experimenting.

We lose spark, spontaneity and desire.

We fall into a sex rut.

So how do we pull ourselves out and rekindle the excitement?

Regaining spark and spice doesn’t need to involve big changes - or wild experiments. Small things can help bring the variety, fun and playfulness back to your bedroom.

Here’s 5 to try tonight

1. Start with a full body massage

When practicing Tantric sex, we always begin with movement or touch to the entire body. Swapping a full body massage is a wonderful way to do this.

Bringing attention and awareness to the body helps us relax, get out of our heads and avoid distracting over-thinking - making us more likely to be in the moment and enjoy ourselves.

Massage or other forms of loving touch also support the body to release the bonding hormone oxytocin. This helps couples feel bonded and connected to each other and is vital to the production of lubrication in women.

Massage also increases the time we spend in foreplay which enhances pleasure, decreases the chance of pain during sex and increases our chance of reaching orgasm.

Mojoco Organic Massage Oil

Private Coconut Oil Lube - Can be used for genital and all over body massage

2. Pleasure yourself - for your lover

Our lovers love to see us enjoying ourselves.

Spice things up tonight by giving them a little show of your pleasure. Self-pleasure in an incredible, intimate, playful way to begin love-making.

Yes, it’s vulnerable, but that’s what makes it so beautifully intimate.

3. Use a vibrator on him during oral sex

The area between the testicles and the anus in men is known as the perineum and is particularly sensitive.

This is due to its connection to the prostate - similar to the G-Spot in women.

The prostate can be stimulated directly by internal anal stimulation, but external perineum stimulation can also pleasure this area.

You can stroke, use pressure, or even use a small, clitoral vibrator like the Je Joue Mimi Soft in this area as you give him a hand job or oral sex.

4. Stimulate your breasts during sex

Nipple stimulation activates the same areas of the brain as genital stimulation. Because of this, some women can orgasm through nipple stimulation alone.

In Tantra, the breasts and nipples also have significance due to their connection to both heart and sex.

Stimulating your breasts can add to your turn on and pleasure. It’s also a great visual show for your partner.

5. Gently play with his testicles during intercourse

The testicles can be a great source of pleasure for men but are often forgotten as attention goes to the shaft and head of the penis.

Add tickling, pressure, slight squeezing or pulling of the testicles to enhance his pleasure. The amount of pressure will vary from man to man, so make sure you check in to find out what he enjoys.

You can do this in numerous positions such as cowgirl or with him on top.

I promise you’ll thank us for these later.

Isiah McKimmie is a Couples Therapist, Sex Therapist, Sexologist + Coach who has been helping women and couples discover deeper intimacy and desire for over a decade.  Compassionate, understanding and absolutely non-judgemental, she’s built her reputation on getting results and helping her clients live happier lives.

Does lingerie make you feel sexy?

Does lingerie make you feel sexy?

I used to think lingerie was all for the men but actually its for both of you. If you feel sexy, you are sexy!

In a survey we recently conduction of 630 women 88.6% said they had worn lingerie and 73.8% said it made them feel sexy. Feedback taken, so I put it to the test.

I’m going to admit I’ve never got seriously into lingerie. A few pieces here and there but when our testers arrived I had a field day. I was prancing around having the time of my life and also getting seriously turned on. Where’s your husband when you need him? I sent many sexy photo texts, tried to call. I sat on my bed feeling extremely sexually frustrated until I remembered I had myself and a house full of sex toys.

Conclusion is YES lingerie makes you feel sexy and YES it turns you on!

International Parents Day - How to have a sex life once you become a parent

International Parents Day - How to have a sex life once you become a parent

There is no doubt that your sex life dramatically changes once you become a parent. Initially the hormones and lack of sleep are at fault and then the busyness of family life seems to take over and your sex life becomes bottom of the priority list.

What to do? Here are some ideas...

Place value on sex

This may sound a bit bizarre but unless you’re willing to change your thought patterns and give sex value it will always sit at the bottom of your list. Sex connects you and your partner. You are less snappy when those love hormones are zooming through your body. Sex breeds sex. The more you have the more you want. You will find you are more affectionate in general. Your kids will subconsciously notice this and feel more secure. See, it is important. Do it for the kids!

Schedule sex

Don’t pretend you are pre-kids and spontaneous sex is there for the taking most days. You need to put it in the diary. Ok so its not totally romantic but it can be quite fun. Build up the anticipation a bit. Take the time to send your partner a saucy message at lunchtime. Maybe buy some sexy lingerie.

Try new things

Be open to trying new things. Always communicate open and honestly with each other. Don’t get stuck in old habits just because they are exactly that old habits. Be a little adventurous. Maybe try a couples sex toy, sensual massage or a sex getaway!

First Kiss Stories

International Kissing Day - It all started with a kiss...

We're celebrating International Kissing Day with a post dedicated to kissing. Because, kissing is just great, plain and simple! Check out some of these fun facts and adorable first kiss stories some of our fans submitted.

What do kissing and cocaine have in common?

They both have the ability to make you feel euphoric and this in itself can be addictive.

Kissing and relationships

In the dating game when chatting amongst friends how often do you hear the words ‘bad kisser’? Is it a deal breaker?

For women more than men, yes it can be. Kissing is a very important factor for humans in selecting their mate. Scientifically their are signals relating to pheromones, health and immunity compatibility. From a more superficial/physical point of you if you don’t like the kiss are you going to like the next phase?

Research has also shown that there is a strong link between how content people are in a relationship and how much the kiss. That being said it is one of the first things to go. So if you haven’t kissed your partner in a while, get kissing!

Kissing and health

Kissing help build up your immunity. It reduces stress, anxiety and relaxes you.

Kissing and communication

When it’s hard to know how to express yourself a kiss can do the talking for you. They way you kiss your Mum, partner or child are all very different but there is an unspoken meaning to all. Who doesn’t love to be kissed?

More fun facts on kissing!

  1. When you kiss someone for the first time, you get a spike in the neurotransmitter dopamine, making you crave more. (via Buzzfeed)

  2. Two thirds of people tilt their head to the right when they kiss. (via Buzzfeed)

  3. According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, we tend to prefer people with particular biological profiles. Trading saliva is one way to figure out if someone is a good fit.

  4. French kissing involves 34 facial muscles. A pucker kiss involves only two. (via Fact Retriever

  5. The term “French kiss” came into the English language around 1923 as a slur on the French culture which was thought to be overly concerned with sex. In France, it’s called a tongue kiss or soul kiss because if done right, it feels as if two souls are merging. In fact, several ancient cultures thought that mouth-to-mouth kissing mingled two lovers’ souls. (via Fact Retriever

  6. Scientists believe that kissing may be a way of exchanging body salts or sebum that form relationships with parents and lovers, just as it does some birds. During mating, some birds chew food, then kiss-feed it to a prospective mate. If a bird’s sebaceous glands are removed so there is no sebum, its mate flies off.  (via Fact Retriever

  7. Passionate kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute. A Hershey’s kiss contains 26 calories, which takes five minutes of walking–or about four minutes of kissing–to burn off. Who wants to workout? (via Fact Retriever

  8. The average person spends at least two weeks of their life kissing. OH! We'll take that over going to work any day. (via Fact Retriever

  9. Most people remember their first kiss quite vividly, often more vividly than their first time having sex!  Which seems true in some of our #kissstories you can find below! John Bohannon of Butler University asked 500 people about their memories of important life experiences, including their first kiss and losing their virginity. The kiss beat everything as the most detailed memory. (via Buzzfeed)



We asked a few fans to send us stories about a memorable kiss! We want to hear yours too. Share your favourite kiss moments with us to be featured on our Instagram Story. Simply email or DM us on Instagram with #kissstories.

Unspoken words
"I was 13 and at a friends house party. My eyes met with a tall, broad guy, he was just my type. The unspoken words led us to oneanother that night. He took my hand and led me to the pool area. With butterflies in my stomach, we sat together on a pool chair. The kiss wasn’t tentative like you’d expect, but passionate. We were teanagers, thirsty to know more. A couple of years later we saw eachother again and had a similar encounter. Now as friends who occassionally bump into eachother there is something still there, something unspoken, something special." - Amanda

Lost for words
"I was on my first date with my now boyfriend, I was in the MIDDLE of a sentence when he grabbed my face and kissed me, quite passionately. He then smiled and said, "Sorry I just had to do that." He was absolutely forgiven. Probably one of my favorutie kisses ever." - Jess

Teenage troubles
"I spent my teenage years by the beach, all day until the sun set all summer long. I was about to head off on a big trip and had a huge crush on a boy, my mom was on her way to get me, so we both clearly felt pressured to act quickly! He kissed me goodbye and we definitely missed each other's lips! It was so horribly awkward, all of my friends were watching from behind a fence near the beach, ooh'ing and ahh'ing, when my mom pulled up! I was traumatised! Not the cutest first kiss, but I'll never forget it!" - Emily

Deprived desires
"I had just spent months talking to a guy long distance and we finally met up in person! I was actually staying at his house, crazy I know, we watched a movie and we were going to sleep in his bed, I was SO nervous, I wanted to kiss him, and he wasn't making the move! I couldn't believe it. Finally, I turned around and kissed him and he said "Thank god you did that, I didn't want to creep you out!" We ended up dating, living together, and loving each other for three years following that!"  - Julia

kegel balls

What are Kegel Balls?

Let’s start with your kegel muscle (pubococcygeneus). You know that feeling when you really need to wee and you are holding on like mad. The kegel muscle is what is stopping you from urinating. Both men and women have kegel muscles but in this instance we are focusing on women. As we get older, have babies etc this muscle weakens and like every other muscle in our bodies we have to work to look after it, kegel balls help you to do this.

Listed below are some of the benefits of keeping your kegel muscle strong:

Sex first!

  • Increased sensitivity leading to more intense sexual arousal
  • Helps you reach an orgasm faster
  • Helps heighten sexual pleasure for both the female & male
  • Can even cause an erection of the clitoris (mmmm this sounds interesting we’ll get back to you with a blog on this topic)
  • And all of this will no doubt increase your SEX DRIVE

Other health benefits:

  • Improved control of your bladder
  • Helps make childbirth and recovery easier

The coolest thing about kegel balls is that they don’t require much effort. Once inserted your muscles do the work involuntarily. You are therefore exercising at your desk, or while cooking dinner or at the shops if you’re feeling daring.

Tip: If you’ve had a big session with your kegels you may want to allocate some special time in the day for self-pleasure or sex. They do tend to get the juices flowing.

Little fact: Kegel balls have been around since c.500AD.


Why Masturbation is Great For Your Sex Life

It seems there are a few damaging myths surrounding masturbation that need to be cleared up. The first myth is ‘If my partner masturbates, it means our sex life is inadequate’ and the second myth is ‘Masturbating means I won’t want sex with my partner because I will be ‘orgasmed out’.’ News flash; both of these myths are not true, in fact masturbation is a healthy and normal part of life and is a positive addition to any romantic relationship.

Self-love and self-care are an essential part of life, and masturbation is just that; a form of self-love and self-pleasure. Masturbation is sex with yourself and begins in utero. Yes, that’s right, we begin touching and pleasuring our genitals when we are in our mother’s womb!

Masturbation is essential because it gives us an opportunity to explore our own body and discover what truly turns us on. We learn how we like to be touched and pleasured and can then share that valuable knowledge with our sexual partners. After all, if we can’t pleasure ourselves, how can we expect our partners to know how to pleasure us?

If you are one of those people who have an issue with your partner self-pleasuring, it’s time to get over yourself. Honour your partner for taking the time out for self-love and self-pleasure. Your partner’s body is theirs, notyours, and they have every right to find pleasure within their own body. Masturbation can be in fact be a very sacred practice and is to be encouraged and respected.

If you think you will be ‘orgasmed’ out by ‘too much’ masturbation (therefore not wanting to have sex with your partner later on), think again. The more sex you have, the more sex you want. So, if you’re having sex with your self (aka masturbation), you’re allowing the sexual juices to flow and it’s a good indication that your mojo is healthy!

Regular masturbation is just as healthy and essential as regular partner sex. It’s time to let go of the negative stuff that surrounds masturbation when in relationship and instead foster the belief in our culture that it’s completely normal, healthy and natural.

Written By Sexologist Juliet Allen

Juliet-allanAbout Juliet

Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer.  She has a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner which we love. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Juliet Allen Website


How To Pleasure The Woman Of Your Dreams

Women are a somewhat complicated species, right? I should know because I’ve dated women and wow, it gave me a really good insight into what men deal with on a daily basis. This is not to say we are not absolute f*cking Goddesses and deserve the utmost respect and love, ‘cos we do … but let’s be honest and acknowledge that men can’t always read our minds or our bodies. So, gentleman, here’s three simple pleasure tips that will go a long way next time you’re getting naked with the woman of your dreams:

#1 Be present with your woman

I know, I know, you were expecting a raunchy sex tip … but reality is us woman just LOVE a truly present man. A man who can sit in stillness and be completely present with himself and his woman. He can look her in the eye and feel comfortable holding her gaze. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and holds space for her to be true and vulnerable with her presence and words. Learning to be present and holding a healthy masculine energy is the first step to pleasuring the woman of your dreams. And when you learn to hold that healthy masculine energy, your woman will be able to surrender into her feminine (and this is when the magic happens).

#2 Go SLOW

And by slow, I mean super slow. Slow motion. One kiss at a time. Take the time to warm us up. Remember, unlike men, women need a lot of time to warm up before they can have a penis anywhere near their pussy. So I recommend teasing and tantalising your woman with kisses, gentle touch, firm touch, oral sex (but don’t go straight for the pussy, tease her with your tongue and make her beg for it), fingering etc etc. Do not enter a woman if she isn’t wet … keep it slow and tease her and before long she’s be begging for you to enter her.

#3 Give without expecting anything in return

That’s right gentleman, give to your woman without expecting anything in return. Worship her like a f*cking Goddess … worship her spirit, her body, her pussy, her everything. Remember to drop into your healthy masculine and she will surrender to your presence and your touch. Do not expect that ‘if I give her head, she’ll then give me head’ etc, instead simply pleasure her for the sake of pleasure’s sake and without attachment to outcomes or orgasm expectations. Enjoy pleasuring every little piece of her and she will love you for it. Trust me on this one.

Written By Sexologist Juliet Allen

Juliet-allanAbout Juliet

Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer.  She has a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner which we love. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Juliet Allen Website

female masturbation

Female Masturbation

Female masturbation, why is this still considered taboo? It seems that men are allowed to talk about masturbating from day dot but most women don’t feel comfortable to discuss it amongst good friends. Female masturbation is a must! Sexual pleasure should belong to the individual before it is shared.

Firstly, a bit of time studying our anatomy. See picture above.

A few friendly female masturbation tips to get you started:

Give it time – no pressure

Relax! That is part of the process. Don’t focus on the orgasm, enjoy all the pleasure you are feeling from the beginning of your session right through to the end. Practice makes perfect. You’ve got time on your side, you’re vulva isn’t going anywhere. Worship that body of yours!

Massage your entire body

Like doing exercise ‘warm up’ first. Get some organic massage oil and massage your whole body focusing particularly on your breasts, neck, buttocks and inner thighs. You’re essentially waking up your body. Try to turn off your mind and focus on the sensations. When you’re ready begin massaging your vulva (coconut oil lube is great for that). Don’t focus straight on your clit. Awaken the whole area which leads to my next point.

Sometime indirect is best

This is the definition of foreplay. Circle around the clit. Stroke your outer lips. Lightly touch your inner lips initiating desire. You want your body to be screaming out telling you to move those fingers inside your vagina towards your g-spot. Play, caress, indulge and enjoy.

Play out your wildest fantasy

Erotic fantasy. If you don’t have one, find one! Start reading some female focused erotica. Watch a favourite movie that always gets you a bit excited (e.g. Dirty Dancing) and imagine yourself in the lead role. Another fun activity is to grab a piece of paper, sit somewhere you feel happy and start writing. You’ll be surprised how easy it is and where you’ll end up.

When you have some inspiration ‘use it’ in your practice. Lose yourself in your desires. And do not under any circumstances feel guilty about it.

Here’s a link to an erotic fiction written by MOJOCO – Sex Getaway.

Vibration is call for sensation

Ok ok, so we sell vibrators but there is a reason for that. They’re fabulous! If you have never felt the sensation of vibration on your clit or g-spot get excited.

Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes with a motor that is true to its name as it produces vibrations. Most have an assortment of settings that vary the vibration speed and pattern as well as what part of the toy is active.

Remember play first and move towards direct stimulation.

For clitoral stimulation.

For g-spot stimulation.

For dual stimulation.

Check out our MOJOCO’S quality adult toy standards

For more great info on masturbation please read our blog written by Sexologist Juliet Allen on ‘Why Masturbation Is Good For Your Sex Life’ and ‘Mutual Masturbation

Oral sex

How To Be The King Or Queen Of Oral Sex

Oral sex is loved, and hated, by many. Some people enjoy oral sex and want it all the time, others don’t like it and avoid giving and/or receiving it at all costs. Reality is it’s ok either way, because sex is super personal and you’ve gotta be doing what feels right for you! Today though, I’m going to give some hot tips on how to give great oral sex, because let’s face it, there’s always room for improvement.

#1 Start slow and let yourself linger. Create Anticipation

We all love to be teased and there’s nothing better than a good lead up to the main course. Begin slowly and don’t rush. Kiss, lick and stroke every little inch of skin with your mouth, tongue and hands … take your time and be really present. Notice the taste of your lover and tell him/her how good it feels to be pleasuring them. Slowly, slowly, slowly!

#2 Make some sounds

If you are genuinely enjoying giving oral sex, show your lover by adding in some moaning and groaning. As you take them into your mouth allow sound to vibrate from your mouth onto their genitals. Making sound will turn your lover on and most likely turn you on too.

#3 Let go of the end goal of orgasm

You heard correct, don’t give oral sex with the intention of giving him/her an orgasm! People seem to put so much pressure on themselves to ‘give’ their partner an orgasm, instead of enjoying every single moment and every single lick, kiss and touch. If you focus on orgasm, you’re not in the present moment. So be present, let go of orgasm expectations, and instead just go with the flow of what feels right at the time.

#4 Take control

There’s nothing sexier than a lover who takes control and really loves what they are doing. Yes, ask your partner what they want and what feels good, but don’t be afraid to own how much you LOVE giving oral sex and take control over how you want to give it.



About Juliet

Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer.  She has a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner which we love. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Juliet Allen Website

casual sex vs long term relationships

Casual Sex Vs. Long Term Relationships: Is One Better Than The Other?

Is there a right or wrong way to relate sexually? Is there a right or wrong way to be in intimate relationship with others? The answer is no. There’s no rights and wrongs, there’s only what feels right for you.

Let’s be honest, what feels right for you may not look like a traditional long-term monogamous relationship. It may feel better to be in a string of casual love affairs, or a polyamorous relationship, whereby you have more than one intimate partner, or perhaps you want to marry and settle down forever? Whatever it is you want and desire, you can have it, and you are worthy of it.

Today I’m focusing on ‘casual sex’ vs ‘long term relationships’, because these are two situations most of us are familiar with and often we can get caught up in the ‘should I commit, or should I just enjoy being single?’ conundrum.

Casual sex is when people sleep together and enjoy intimacy and sex, but with no strings attached. This can definitely work, but I believe it can only be a healthy experience if both people are honest about what they want. A casual sex setup can be a whole lot of fun, because it basically means you meet up, no strings attached, enjoy each other’s company, enjoy sex … and then continue on with life without the commitment of relationship.

Where casual sex can go pear shaped is when there’s no clear communication about expectations … so what often happens is one person gets attached, and the other doesn’t want the commitment. So there’s possibility for a little heartache if there’s an imbalance with what both people want and feel. But on the other hand, casual sex can turn into a beautiful love between two people, and often the most casual situations have evolved into beautiful relationships.

The there’s the long term monogamous relationship. Two people who come together and agree that they love and adore each other enough to commit to just being with each other. This is the most common way of negotiating relationship and I believe it can be a chance for the biggest growth as individuals. Don’t get me wrong, long term monogamous relationships are often challenging, because unlike casual sex, we spend a whole lot more time together, and so our ‘stuff’ comes up and we are forced to deal with our shit so that we can make the relationship work. Long term relationships are beautiful and ultimately being ‘chosen’ by our partner is what we all yearn for at some stage in our lives.

So, is there one better than the other? No. My suggestion is that you feel into what’s right for you … this comes with experiencing both situations and getting an idea of what you want. You may find that what you thought you wanted will change … perhaps you thought you wanted casual sex, but now you want a relationship with that person. Or you wanted the relationship, and now you’re thinking about sex with other people. Whatever the situation, embrace it, and know that you are not alone in this journey.


About Juliet

Juliet-allanJuliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer. She has a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner which we love. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Juliet Allen Website

Women's sexual wellbeing

Sexual Wellbeing. Why Is It Important?

Sexual Wellbeing – Why is it important?


We often think to ourselves, ‘I should exercise more, eat healthily, meditate, get a massage’ but what about allocating time for our sexual wellbeing? It is so often pushed to the back of the ‘to do’ list or not even on it to begin with.


The way we feel about and experience sex is deeply connected to our core energy. It can affect our relationships, mood, sleep and stress levels.


Sex and self-pleasure releases the following hormones:
Prolactin – responsible for many things including deep relaxation and sleepiness and has been linked to reduced risk of breast and prostate cancer.
Oxytocin – known as the love hormone also contributes to relaxation and reduced stress and anxiety.
Endorphins – a natural pain reliever.
Immunoglobulin A and DHEA hormone – boost immunity and great for the skin.


They sound good right? Here are some tips to help you get started on your personal exploration.


Look after your pelvic floor – Kegel Balls
Strengthening your pelvic floor leads to increased sensation, better orgasms and improved bladder control. Having regular sex and orgasms will help but you should also look at getting yourself some kegel balls. These are small shaped weights that you insert into your vagina like a tampon.


They are often sold in a progressive set so as your muscles strengthen you can move up. They feel quite discrete and your muscles will contract involuntarily to do the work for you.  They can be worn at home or work, basically anywhere. Quite fun to have a performance review with your boss while working on the intensity of your orgasms…


Make sex important  


Yes, that’s right. It’s a priority! Living with bad or non-existent sex can make us quite frankly pretty cranky (not enough of that Oxytocin as we mentioned earlier). This involves communication first. Get out those diaries and make a date. If you’re in a relationship with your partner and if you’re not, with yourself.


So now that you’ve got a date think about what sex means to you. Do you always enjoy it? Do you struggle to orgasm? Has your libido altered recently? These are important issues to be addressed and not to be marked as unimportant. Education is key. For starters there are loads of fantastic books out there and if you still feel lost, consider booking in to see a Sexologist. It sounds a bit daunting but why not? You’ve got nothing to lose.


Get sensual 


Sex and sensuality is such a beautiful combination. Remember sex is what you make it and it doesn’t have to end with penetration or orgasm. It is an opportunity to connect with your body.  Get naked and run silk across you body. Massage each other from tip to tail and see where it leads. Enjoy engaging in the senses. Close your eyes and touch yourself feeling the sensation of skin against skin.


A superfood for sex


Macca – have you heard of it? This was only recently brought to our attention, incredible! Increases your libido and has also been known to help men with erectile problems. Check it out at your local health food store.


Check Out What’s New on Mojoco

Sex After Marriage - Is It Different?

The act of marriage as in the actual process will not alter your sex life but changes in your life will. So it really depends on how marriage changes your life. For some life may continue much the same as it did before but for others it might be the beginning of living under the same roof which would clearly impact your intimacy.


Traditionally marriage signifies a life commitment, usually in a monogamous relationship. Perhaps this commitment will provide a deeper connection that will have you acting as if you’ve just met your partner. On the other hand you may feel a bit daunted by the enormity of sex with one person forever in which you might start examining your sex life a little more.


Whatever the change in your sex life you can be sure it will change again. This is why it is so important to COMMUNICATE! Why is it that we can talk about almost anything with our partners except the most intimate thing we do together? Most likely out of love. We don’t want to offend our partners or for them to feel inadequate in any way.


Although that first conversion may be a little uncomfortable it is absolutely for the greater good of your relationship. Instead of focusing on how you’ve always done things create a space where you talk about the future of your sex life. As you grow older and change let your sex life evolve too. Take sex for the ride!


Did you know that the second highest reason (behind finances) for relationship breakdown is sexual dissatisfaction? What does this mean? In essence embrace sex as an integral part of your marriage. Be open to talking about it. Changes in your body and hormones over time will have you wanting different things. Try new things. Read, explore, get an adult toy and have some fun.


Check out Mojoco Shop for more ideas!


Mutual masturbation

Mutual Masturbation 101: A Guide For Lovers & Self-Pleasure Enthusiasts

Mutual masturbation is when two people masturbate in each other’s presence. Perhaps you are both positioned on opposite sides of the room, or you’re alongside each other kissing, or you’re on opposite sides of the world, watching and listening via a screen. It doesn’t matter how you choose to do it, what matters is that you experience and embrace mutual masturbation as a regular practice with your lover/s.

Mutual masturbation can be a huge turn on for all people involved (because let’s face it, there can always be more than two people involved, if you’re into that). Here’s a few tips on how to make it the hottest experience possible:

Firstly, make sure everyone involved loves solo masturbation

To be completely comfortable with mutual masturbation, you must first be super comfortable with solo self-pleasure. Practice self-pleasure alone until you are really comfortable and at ease with your own body and touch. This will ensure you are 100% comfortable being watched, plus you’ll be more comfortable watching your lover/s get all hot and heavy with themselves.

Set boundaries

Perhaps all your lover wants tonight is mutual masturbation. So, communicate prior if you want to leave it at just that. Mutual masturbation is often a good compromise if you’re not up for partner sex, or if you’re tired and just want to self-pleasure and got to sleep. Be open and honest with your lover and respect each other’s wishes and desires.

Take the focus off orgasm and into pure self-pleasure

We often get caught up in goal-oriented masturbation (masturbating to reach climax). Slow it right now, enjoy every single little touch and make love to yourself just how you want your lover to make love to you. It’s amazing what can happen when we slow down and let go of having to have a ‘release’.

Incorporate Pussy & Cock Massage

Make sure you have organic coconut oil handy, pour some into your hands and lather it all over you. Give yourself an intimate loving massage and enjoy being watched. Massage is a beautiful intimate self-pleasure practice that gives us the opportunity to relax into our own touch and pleasure.

Mojoco has a beautiful range of self-pleasure products.

Clitoral Stimulators

Dual Stimulators

G-Spot Vibrators


About Juliet

Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer.  She has a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner which we love. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Juliet Allen Website