Casual Sex Vs. Long Term Relationships: Is One Better Than The Other?

Is there a right or wrong way to relate sexually? Is there a right or wrong way to be in intimate relationship with others? The answer is no. There’s no rights and wrongs, there’s only what feels right for you.

Let’s be honest, what feels right for you may not look like a traditional long-term monogamous relationship. It may feel better to be in a string of casual love affairs, or a polyamorous relationship, whereby you have more than one intimate partner, or perhaps you want to marry and settle down forever? Whatever it is you want and desire, you can have it, and you are worthy of it.

Today I’m focusing on ‘casual sex’ vs ‘long term relationships’, because these are two situations most of us are familiar with and often we can get caught up in the ‘should I commit, or should I just enjoy being single?’ conundrum.

Casual sex is when people sleep together and enjoy intimacy and sex, but with no strings attached. This can definitely work, but I believe it can only be a healthy experience if both people are honest about what they want. A casual sex setup can be a whole lot of fun, because it basically means you meet up, no strings attached, enjoy each other’s company, enjoy sex … and then continue on with life without the commitment of relationship.

Where casual sex can go pear shaped is when there’s no clear communication about expectations … so what often happens is one person gets attached, and the other doesn’t want the commitment. So there’s possibility for a little heartache if there’s an imbalance with what both people want and feel. But on the other hand, casual sex can turn into a beautiful love between two people, and often the most casual situations have evolved into beautiful relationships.

The there’s the long term monogamous relationship. Two people who come together and agree that they love and adore each other enough to commit to just being with each other. This is the most common way of negotiating relationship and I believe it can be a chance for the biggest growth as individuals. Don’t get me wrong, long term monogamous relationships are often challenging, because unlike casual sex, we spend a whole lot more time together, and so our ‘stuff’ comes up and we are forced to deal with our shit so that we can make the relationship work. Long term relationships are beautiful and ultimately being ‘chosen’ by our partner is what we all yearn for at some stage in our lives.

So, is there one better than the other? No. My suggestion is that you feel into what’s right for you … this comes with experiencing both situations and getting an idea of what you want. You may find that what you thought you wanted will change … perhaps you thought you wanted casual sex, but now you want a relationship with that person. Or you wanted the relationship, and now you’re thinking about sex with other people. Whatever the situation, embrace it, and know that you are not alone in this journey.


About Juliet

Juliet-allanJuliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer. She has a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner which we love. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Juliet Allen Website