Why we think all couples should try sex toys

We wanted to tell you a story about our lives. In particular, our sex lives. As many couples experience, sometimes that flaming passion dwindles, and it changes things in your relationship. We had that happen to us, and for awhile it hurt. The kids kept us busy, work had us stressed, and we forgot how important our relationship was, specifically in the bedroom. So when we had an awakening when we introduced toys, it made things interesting and fun, which got us excited to get into bed with each other, not just to sleep. The rest, as you can tell, is history.  That’s why we asked sexologist Isiah McKimmie to give you tips on introducing toys in your relationship.

communication is key

Talk to your partner pre-sexy time about what you want.

Offer lots of appreciation and reassurance about your current sex life. Make it clear that you love the sex life and intimacy you share together now. Let your partner know that this is not about them or your sex life being inadequate. Adding sex toys are really about making things even better, and exploring something new together.

Your timing for this conversation is important. Make sure you have sufficient time and privacy – and if they’re not in the mood to talk about it, allow them the option of talking at another time.

Share your reasons for wanting to introduce toys in a clear and positive way. You can try something like:

“I’ve been thinking that it might be exciting to experiment with a vibrator. I’m wondering if this is something you would be open to?”

explore together & go slow

You can also try something like, “I heard about a new website selling sex toys the other day. I thought that trying something like that might be really fun for us. Would you be interested in that too?”

Openly listen to your partner’s feelings and opinions about it too.

If you’re excited too, together, look at sex toys you might like to experiment with. Jointly shopping for the right toy to use can be a beautiful way to deepen your intimacy and connection.

Crack open a bottle of wine and open up our site, while discussing the toys that you like the look of and those you might be unsure about. Start with a toy that you both feel comfortable with and that can be easily incorporated into your current love making.

Remember that toys will be more enjoyable and effective when you have a great relationship outside of the bedroom too. Keep focusing on making an effort and building intimacy in all areas of your relationship so it really thrives.

Isiah McKimmie